Using Time Outs Effectively With Your Young Child

What Is A Time Out?
When your child is doing something that is unacceptable, time out helps stop it and change the situation. Time-out sends the child away from the trouble spot, and into an isolated area such as a room, chair, quiet corner, hallway, crib, or playpen.  Select a non-interesting, yet safe place. Your child should not be allowed to watch TV or interact with others.

How Does Time Out Work?
Time-out will give your child quiet time to think about how she misbehaved and feel remorseful about it. Particularly in older preschoolers, time-out is a time of isolation and silence which lets the child regain control of themselves.

How Can I Use Time Out?
Give your child only one warning and avoid empty threats. Do not shout. When you're putting your child in time-out, briefly explain what she has done. Avoid long lectures or spanking. Be consistent and clear with your child that time-out is directed toward the misbehavior not them. It's important not to hurt your child's self-esteem by instilling shame, guilt, loss of trust, or feelings of abandonment.

How Long Is A Time Out?
Time-out should last one minute for each year of a child's age, up to 5 minutes. You should be the timekeeper. You can use a kitchen timer. Make sure you put it where your child can see and hear it. If they leave time-out, put them back quickly and reset the timer. This teaches your child you mean what you say. If your other children touch the timer, or tease their brother or sister in time-out, they should be also placed in time-out.

How Does Time Out End?
Make it clear you are in control of when time-out ends. Go to your child's corner and say, "Time-out is over. You can get up now." Clear the air. When time-out is over, it's over.  If your child repeats the behavior that led to the time-out, repeat the whole process.

2003 Community Resource Kit - Alaska Children’s Trust