Positive Discipline: With Love and Limits
     Disciplining a child is one of the most important roles of a parent, and perhaps one of the most difficult. But healthy discipline is part of a comforting family environment. Effective discipline at home provides a foundation for self-discipline throughout life and helps your child grow up to be happy and well-adjusted. Positive discipline teaches and guides children, it doesn't force them to obey. How children are disciplined depends on their age, stage of development, personality, and many other factors. But there are some basic principles to help guide parents.

Discipline means to lead, guide and teach your child.

What are the goals of discipline?

Discipline protects your child from danger.

Discipline helps your child learn self-control.

Discipline helps your child develop a sense of responsibility.

Discipline helps instill values.

What makes discipline effective?

Respect - Children should be able to respect their parents' authority and the rights of other people. Discipline that includes name-calling, shouting and humiliating will make it difficult for a child to respect and trust their parents. 

Consistency -  Discipline that's not consistent is confusing to children, no matter how old they are.  If parents are inconsistent in the way they discipline, their children will find it hard to respect them.

Fairness - Children need to see discipline as fair.  The consequences of their actions should be related to their bad behavior. If your child throws food on the floor, make sure he helps you clean up the mess.  Make sure it is cleaned up before he goes and plays. When the mess is cleaned up, the consequence is over.

You - As a parent, you have a unique bond with your child. If you teach your child discipline with respect, making sure it's consistent and fair, you'll have lasting positive effects.

Preventing Behavior Problems In Young Children

Make time each day for fresh air and outdoor play.  Give your child many opportunities for physical activity and exercise daily. Many children need to run off some of their energy.

Use distraction or redirection. Instead of saying "NO," give your child something interesting to do. If she is climbing a fence, you can say "Come and play on the swings." Or sing a silly song to change the focus.

Make sure your child has toys that are right for their age.  Toys for young children should be simple to play with. Don't give them too many at once. And put frustrating toys out of reach.

Keep your instructions clear and simple. Children two years of age and younger have trouble remembering and understanding rules.

Allow time for transitions, especially at bedtime.  If your child is tired and cranky, be understanding and help them to calm down.  Having a short, quiet time with no activity can ease the transition to sleep before a nap or bedtime. Routines, such as reading a book before bed, help.

When You Say “No,” Mean It 
When a parent says “no,” the child may hear, “well, maybe…” and test you.  Children will often try pleading, whining and tantrums to get their way.  The solution? Don’t say “no” unless you are prepared to stick with it.  In the end, your consistency and firmness will make your child more secure.

Don’t Give In To Tantrums
Giving in to temper tantrums only leads to more tantrums. If you are in a public place, say, “Stop now, or we will have to leave,” then follow through if necessary.   If you behave with dignity and firmness, you won’t come across as a bad parent.  At home, send the child to their room until they calm down. Tell your child, “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I won’t change my mind.”

Ignore the little things. Before raising your voice, ask "Is this important?"

Developed by the Canadian Paediatric Society 613/526-3332 http://www.cps.ca
2003 Community Resource Kit - Alaska Children’s Trust